Seventeenth December
by amiablesandwich
Summary: This follows soon after "Ste's Day Indoors."
1. Chapter 1

_** Seventeenth December**_

**Gary D.**

_This follows soon after "Ste's Day Indoors." I tried a bit of a different style here, let me know what you think._

Part I

17th December

Jamie stared out at the scenery flying past the window, not really seeing any of it. His mind barely registered the two irritatingly loud giggling girls sitting across from him.

He'd been the same since… well, he still couldn't quite get his head round it, even though it had been two days. God, just thinking about it made him feel sick to his stomach.

Sure, he'd had worries about being so far apart - everyone knew distance relationships were difficult - but he certainly hadn't expected things to go so wrong in less than three months. In any case, he and Ste had talked about their fears and decided they could deal with it. He really had believed that they were strong enough to get through it. He loved the bastard for Christ sake. And didn't Ste love him?

He slumped further down in his seat. As the train made its way up to Edinburgh, Jamie's mind was back in London. In the Anchor, at one o'clock in the morning, almost three months ago….

20th September

Jamie and Ste lay naked side by side, hands clasped tightly together. Their breathing was still rapid after their recent exertions. Jamie rolled round to face Ste, smiling at his red and sweating face. He carefully used the sheet to dab some of the moisture from his boyfriend's brow.

Jamie: Boy, Ste, that was something! You were on fire tonight.

Ste grinned and turned to look into Jamie's eyes.

Ste: What can I say, I'm hot stuff. And that was our second time tonight as well.

Jamie: Well, third if you count that earlier business in the bath.

Ste laughed.

Ste: Let's call it two and a half. Would have been three times if it hadn't been for that fire alarm.

Jamie grinned, recalling how earlier he and Ste had been interrupted at a crucial moment by the fire alarm in the Anchor going off. They weren't too bothered at first, but then they smelled smoke and had gotten worried. So they'd both rushed out of the bath and ended up standing in the street with the pub crowd with only towels around them. Fortunately not for long, as it was just a chip pan fire which was quickly put out.

Jamie: That new bar girl Kelly, the one with the massive…

He indicated what was so big.

Jamie: … she certainly enjoyed seeing you out there half naked though.

Ste: Rubbish!

Jamie: I tell you, she couldn't stop looking at you. She definitely fancies you.

Ste: No she doesn't.

Jamie: She does. Totally smitten.

Ste: She's a lesbian.

Jamie: What?

Ste: Your mum told me.

Jamie: Oh.

He was silent for a moment. He spent a few seconds thinking about Kelly, before his mind returned to what they had just been doing.

Jamie: But Jesus Ste, tonight! Someone musta put somethin in your tea.

Ste: I don't know Jay. Suppose it's just with you goin away tomorrow, I wanted to make sure I made the most of you while I had you.

They both gazed into the eyes of the boy they loved.

Ste: I'm not looking forward to you being up there.

Jamie: I know Ste, I feel the same. I feel like I wanna just forget about goin to uni so I can stay with you.

Ste: You know you can't do that.

Jamie: No, just like you can't give up your job at the centre. Just wish there was a way to avoid us havin to live hundreds of miles apart.

He stopped speaking, and was quiet. Ste looked into his eyes, and saw the dark clouds passing behind them, telling him his boyfriend was worried. He could read Jamie well now, and sensed where his thoughts were centred.

Ste: Are you worried about us, Jay? About whether we'll be ok?

Jamie seemed surprised that Ste had asked this, that his boyfriend had guessed - correctly - what he was thinking.

Jamie: No, I'd never…

He stopped. He was always totally honest with Ste about his feelings, and that wasn't going to change now.

Jamie: Well, I suppose I have been thinking about it. I didn't want to say anything in case you thought I… I don't know, maybe that I wasn't committed, or….

Ste saw that Jamie was getting upset, so leaned over and pulled him tightly to his chest.

Ste: Sshh. Jay it's fine. I'd be lying if I hadn't had some of the same thoughts myself. Doesn't mean I'm having doubts about being with you, or anything like that. Jesus, I love you so much, and want you near to me so bad, that I can hardly bear letting you go away tomorrow.

Jamie looked into Ste's beautiful warm brown eyes for a moment, before leaning over and gently kissing the man he loved.

Jamie: Thanks Ste. I love you too. I suppose it was just all that stuff you hear about long-distance relationships being really hard…

He paused for a moment before giving Ste another kiss.

Jamie: You know what Ste, sod it. Who cares about other people. We're us, and we love each other. A few miles between us isn't goin to change that.

Ste: Cheers to that Jay. Anyway, it isn't gonna be so bad. We'll see each other loads - when I get a couple days off in a row, when you've got some time free. And I know it's a while a way, but there's also my birthday. I'm really looking forward to it. Just us, for a whole week.

Jamie grinned at Ste's excitement. He was looking forward to it as well. Ste's birthday was just before Christmas, and although it was now only September, the boys had plans. Ste's birthday was a Friday, just before Jamie stopped for his Christmas holidays. Ste had already made sure to book time off from the centre. They planned to hit the town on the Friday - Jamie was just going to skip classes that day - and then spend the rest of the week doing stuff together. And the icing on the cake was that they'd even have the flat entirely to themselves. Sandra and Tony were booked for a two week winter cruise, courtesy of Tony's recent inheritance - the same money that was partially funding Jamie's rented flat in Edinburgh, and his fees. So the lads would have the flat above the Anchor entirely to themselves. Jamie almost shivered in anticipation of what they'd get up to.

Jamie: Too right Ste, it's gonna be great.

He looked at Ste and smiled mischievously. Suddenly he rolled on top of Ste, so his body was pressing down on his boyfriend's. He spoke in a low voice.

Jamie: So, baby, how about some lovin?

Ste: Jay? You can't wanna…not right after…

Jamie started nibbling Ste's neck.

Ste: Aw Jay, c'mon…. Oh, alright, since your goin away tomorrow, I'll try.

Jamie laughed, and rolled back over.

Jamie: Nah, I was joking. Don't think I could even if I wanted to. Just wanted to see how much you'd do for me.

Ste: Little sod! You know, your moving to Edinburgh might not be such a bad thing after all.

He laughed and pulled Jamie close to him.

Ste: C'mon Jay, let's get some sleep. Early wake up tomorrow.

Jamie nestled his head into Ste's side, settling himself into their customary sleeping position. His mind dwelled for a moment on the fact that tomorrow night he'd be sleeping alone, but he quickly pushed the thought from his head.

Jamie: Night Ste.

Ste: Night Jay.

A moment's silence.

Jamie: Love you.

Ste: Love you too Jamie.

And soon they were fast asleep.

17th December

The train doors opened and Jamie stepped wearily onto the platform. Slowly, staring at the ground, he made his way through the ticket barrier and into the main station. Everything, even basic things like walking, seemed to require so much effort. He looked round him as he headed outside. The rain was lashing down, but he couldn't be bothered getting his umbrella out of his bag. 'What's the point?' he mumbled to himself.

As he waited at the traffic lights, he turned and glanced back at the station entrance. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone leaning against the lamppost by the doors. Someone with short dark hair. His breath caught in his throat, and he felt his heart start to beat faster.

Quickly, he peered through the pouring rain. The figure turned towards him and… he saw it wasn't Ste. He let out a long sigh. 'What the hell's wrong with me?' he asked himself. He shook his head. 'But seeing that person standing there, in the exact spot where…' He looked round again at the lamppost, the memory of Ste's first trip up north to see him vivid in his head. 'It wasn't raining then,' he thought to himself sadly, as the memories came flooding back….

10th October

Feeling too warm, Jamie took off his jumper. As he stood waiting to cross, he peered over the road at the station, trying to catch a glimpse of him.

He was so excited. When the green man appeared he practically dashed across, still scanning the people leaving the station. Suddenly he stopped. There he was. Just under the 'Welcome to Edinburgh Station' sign, which was glinting in the sunlight, leaning against the lamppost by the doors. Ste.

He moved rapidly towards the boy he'd missed so much over the last three weeks. When Ste saw him a huge smile lit up his face. They were both so happy to see each other. In seconds they were together, hugging as if their lives depended on it. Then Ste pulled Jamie into the shade behind the lamppost and gave him a long, red hot kiss.

When they finally rose for air, they looked into each other's eyes, still smiling.

Jamie: Hi Ste.

Ste: Hi Jay.

Jamie: I've missed you.

Ste: Missed you too Jay. It's so good to see you.

The lads kissed again, quicker this time but with no less passion. Then Jamie picked up Ste's bag and the pair walked side by side towards Jamie's flat.

Ste: How far is it Jay?

Jamie: About ten minutes. Then it's about another ten minutes in the other direction and I'm at uni. Not bad.

Ste: Yeah pretty good. I'm about the same in the morning, from the Anchor to the centre.

Jamie: So how're things goin there? Still 'loving it' like when we last spoke.

Ste smiled.

Ste: Like last night you mean? Yeah, it is really good. Like I told you, all the guys that work there are great, I like what I'm doing… couldn't really ask for much more.

Now Jamie smiled.

Jamie: I'm glad you're enjoying it Ste.

Ste: Cheers Jay.

They walked along quietly for a moment.

Ste: There is one thing that makes it really great though.

Jamie: What?

Ste: Seeing all those swimmers in just their speedos. God, is that somethin? I just stand there watching all those half-naked guys, well sometimes more than half….

He was stopped from continuing by Jamie, who had attempted to grab him in a headlock. When Ste had got out of his grip (with ease) the lads continued walking, laughing as they went, and arrived shortly at Jamie's flat.

Jamie bounded up the main steps ahead of Ste, quickly unlocking the door and holding it open for his best friend. He then ushered Ste up the inside staircase to the first floor landing, and opened the door of his flat.

Jamie: Well Ste, welcome to my little home-away-from-home. What d'you think?

Ste looked round at the little flat. It was pretty small, but had a nice warm feel to it. Although it had come furnished, Ste could see Jamie's touch in the bright pictures adorning the walls.

Ste: Nice Jay, really nice. Like you said, it is small, but cosy. Yeah, I really like it.

He wandered over to the other side of the room to look out the window. Then he opened the nearby door and found himself in Jamie's bedroom. A double bed took up most of the space, with only a small bedside chest and mirror wardrobe for storage. Ste looked over at the photograph sitting on the bedside chest, just where Jamie could see it before he went to sleep. From behind the glass, his own smiling face stared back. Jamie had come into the room, and saw Ste looking at the photo. He smiled.

Jamie: It's a good one of you.

Ste turned round to face his boyfriend. He smiled back.

Ste: Well, I hate being immodest, but it's not bad.

He walked slowly towards Jamie, put his arms around his waist and pulled him into a tight embrace.

Jamie: Definitely not as good as the real thing though.

They kissed gently for a while, eventually breaking off and looking lovingly into each other's eyes.

Jamie: I'm glad you're here Ste. The flat's nice, but to be honest, it's never yet begun to feel like a home. I know that I'm goin to be here for four years, but somehow I can't stop thinking of it as just a glorified hotel room or something. And it's cos you hadn't been here. How could someplace ever be my home if you'd never been in it?

Ste came round behind him and wrapped his strong arms around his chest, holding him tightly. He lightly kissed the back of Jamie's neck, before resting his head on Jamie's shoulder, their cheeks touching. They remained still for a while, both relishing the simple pleasure of long-overdue physical contact with the most important person in the world.

Eventually, and inevitably, their thoughts took a turn towards the carnal. Ste spoke slowly.

Ste: I think, seeing as how I'm not going to be here all the time….

He began edging both himself and Jamie towards the bed.

Ste: …. then I think it's important that while I am here, I leave a big impression…

Almost there.

Ste: …. especially…. on this mattress.

With giggling muffled by kisses, the boys collapsed onto the bed.

17th December

The green man appeared and Jamie, pulled from his thoughts, was caught in the surge of people crossing the road. Upon reaching the other side he headed in the direction of his flat. He meandered slowly, letting those more eager than himself to return home brush past him. What was he going back to? A sad little empty flat. He couldn't see a point in moving any quicker.

His feet may have been going slowly, but his brain was whirring. Random events and conversations kept playing in his mind. Little incidents and encounters, all with one common link. Ste.

In the couple of months following his inaugural visit, Ste had been up to see him three more times. The boys spent these weekends constantly together, their time apart serving to make their reunions all the sweeter. As November gave way to chilly December, the lads thoughts were firmly focussed on Ste's upcoming birthday and the week they would be spending together in London. All in all, things were good.

Until, that is, they turned bad.

1st December

Jamie slammed the door shut behind him, discarding his bag on the floor as he stormed into the flat. He slumped down onto the couch and picked up the phone, his fingers on automatic as they dialled the number. On the fifth or sixth ring, Ste answered.

Ste: Hello.

Jamie: Hey Ste, it's me.

Ste: Hey Jay, hows things?

Jamie: Not so great Ste, could be better. Well, totally shit actually.

Ste: What's wrong?

Jamie: We've just been given last minute notice today from Professor Smith, my history lecturer…

Ste: …. that the one you said looks like the guy off the Weetos packet?

Jamie: Yeah, spitting image. Well he just informed us today, just two weeks before it, that we have a history exam on the 15th.

Ste: My birthday.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ste: Is it an important one?

Jamie: Yeah, counts for twenty percent of the final grade. Slipped his mind to tell us sooner, apparently. So not only am I gonna have to study like hell to counter the short notice, more importantly I'm not gonna make it down for your birthday.

Ste: Well, you could come down after your exams finished. You'd get here pretty late but…

Jamie: That's what I'd thought I could do, but the exam doesn't finish till 5 o'clock. I couldn't be home till the early hours on Saturday. It's shit.

Ste: Yeah.

They were silent for a moment, contemplating the unfairness of it all. Then Ste spoke.

Ste: Oh well, I suppose it can't be helped. Never mind. You can get an early train on Saturday, and I'll see you then.

Jamie: I know, but I'll miss your birthday Ste.

Ste: It's okay Jay. I won't mind, knowin that you'll be there the next day, and we'll have the whole week together.

Jamie: I suppose. But what'll you do on your birthday. Mum and Tony won't be there.

Ste: I dunno. I'll maybe go out with the guys from work or something. I'll be fine, don't worry.

Jamie: I'll try Ste. Anyway, you still okay to come up this weekend?

There was silence for a moment on the other end of the line.

Ste: Ah, damn. Forgot to say on the phone yesterday, I can't. I'm gonna have to work. I couldn't get out of it.

Jamie: Aw, that's shit Ste.

Ste: I know Jay.

Jamie sighed, but tried to be positive.

Jamie: Oh well Ste, never mind. It's only a few weeks till I come down.

Ste: Yeah. You'll be here with me before you know it.

Jamie: It's that thought that keeps me goin. Okay Ste, I'll let you go. I think we should probably end this conversation now before one of us reveals more bad news. Don't think I could take anymore.

Ste: No. Definitely enough for one night. I _was_ planning to tell you tonight that I've discovered that I'm actually straight and in love with Sophie, the delivery girl, but I'll leave it till tomorrow.

Jamie: Yeah, think you'd better wait. Is she the one that brings the crisps, nuts and stuff to the pub? She is pretty nice.

Ste: I think so. To be honest I've never really noticed what she brings, I can't tear my eyes away from those huge…

Jamie: …. Don't think I need the details thanks.

They both laugh.

Jamie: I feel a bit better Ste.

Ste: Good Jay.

Jamie: Well, I had better go. Put the tea on.

Ste: What you having?

Jamie: Dunno. Can't be bothered making much, so I'll probably stick on one of those 'meal for one' ready meals. Depresses the hell out of me, buyin them, but hey.

Ste laughed.

Jamie: Good to know my loneliness is brightening someone's day. Well, I actually had better go now. Speak to you soon Ste.

Ste: Not if I speak to you first Jay. Love you.

Jamie: Love you too.

17th December

By the time he reached his street the rain had eased a little, but he was already soaked through. His clothes were stuck to his body, and his hair plastered to his scalp. He trudged wearily to his flat.

He could hardly believe that Ste had changed so much in such a short time. How could he have been like that on the phone - joked and laughed, told Jamie he loved him - and then did what he did just a few weeks later. No, Jamie decided. It must have been going on all the time. Ste must have been lying to him for a while. He didn't know for how long, but that hardly mattered.

At the main entrance to his building, he struggled to get the door unlocked. He got frustrated, making things worse. He slammed his fist against it.

Jamie: Fuck!

He stood there a moment, silently willing himself to calm down. If he was going to lose it, he told himself, he wasn't going to do it out here on the street. He tried the lock again, slowly this time, and managed to get in. He closed it very gently behind him, as if that would somehow negate his earlier banging.

When he got to his landing, he stood outside his flat for a second. Leaning against the wall, eyes closed. He allowed his mind to wander over the events of the last few days, as a puddle of water accumulated at his feet.…

15th December

When he arrived at the university that morning, he hadn't been in a great mood. Had it not been for this bloody test, he'd have got the train home last night. He'd be waking up next to Ste in the Anchor this morning. He'd tried phoning Ste before he left the flat to say happy birthday, but there had been no answer. He wasn't worried, just disappointed he'd not been able to speak to him.

Things changed however, when he got to the morning's lecture. This was the one he'd been planning to skip, before events conspired to alter his plans. It was English Literature, but most of the students were in the history class that was sitting the exam that afternoon. It was from those students that he learned of Professor Smith's illness, and the postponement of the exam till after the holidays. He could have jumped for joy.

In no time he was home, grabbing the bag he'd packed the day before, and heading for the station. He decided not to ring Ste, but instead surprise him. He got to the station, checked the times, and bought a ticket. Barring delays, he should be home about seven o'clock. Perfect. Or so he'd thought.

It was actually just past ten by the time Jamie arrived outside the Anchor. It had been a long, delayed journey, but he'd spent it in anticipation of seeing Ste, so it wasn't that bad. He went inside, and headed over to the bar. Kelly was there behind the counter.

Jamie: Hi Kelly.

The girl looked at him for a moment. She'd only started working at the Anchor the week before Jamie moved up to Edinburgh, and he hadn't seen her in the months since. It took her a second to place him, but she got there.

Kelly: Oh hey Jamie. How are you? Just back from Edinburgh?

Jamie: Yeah, it's the Christmas holidays. I'm alright. How about you?

Kelly: I'm fine. Your mum keeps me pretty busy, especially with her being off these two weeks, but I like it. You lookin for Ste?

Jamie: Yeah, it's his birthday today, but he didn't know I was coming. I'd planned to surprise him, but he was goin out, and since the train was late I've probably missed him. Stupid, I shoulda just called.

Kelly had moved to his side as she served a customer.

Kelly: Well, he was down earlier, and I'm afraid he has gone out…. That'll be £2.10 love…. thanks.

She turned back to Jamie, who was looking disappointed.

Kelly: But I do know where he's gone.

Twenty minutes later, Jamie was on the bus. After Kelly had told him which club Ste was going to with his work mates, he'd dashed upstairs to get changed. Now he was on the bus heading to Republik. It was a club he'd never been to before, so he hoped he'd be able to find Ste.

In about half an hour, he was he was standing in the queue to get in. He looked about him, but couldn't see Ste. He was hopefully already inside. He eventually reached the front of the queue and, after being questioned by a surly bouncer, was admitted inside.

He headed up the stairs, past the cloakroom, and into what seemed to be the main dance floor. It was packed. How the hell was he ever going to find Ste in here? He looked around, and saw there were stairs up to another level with a balcony looking over the dance floor. He headed up to get a better view.

His eyes scanned the gyrating masses, searching for the face of the boy he loved. For a minute or two he had no luck, and had almost decided that he wasn't in the room, when… there he was. Down in the left hand corner. Ste.

Jamie watched him for a moment, smiling. He looked pretty drunk, and definitely having a good time. He seemed to be with four other people, two girls and two guys. They were all dancing in a little group. One of the guys seemed to giving Ste quite a lot of attention - pulling him close towards him, dancing with his body pressed against Ste's. Jamie just shook his head, amused. For him, Ste was the most handsome man in the room, and it didn't surprise him that others thought the same.

Unable to contain himself any longer, he headed down to see him. Coming downstairs and pushing through the throng of people was no easy feat, and took him a while. He kept his eye on the bit of room where Ste had been, and made a beeline for it. Eventually, through a break in the crowd, he saw him.

He looked absolutely gorgeous. He was wearing a black shirt and jeans, and his hair - which he'd started to wear a little bit longer - was gelled. The top couple buttons of his shirt were undone, revealing the beginnings of his smooth, muscled torso. Jamie's heart skipped a beat to see him, and he felt a familiar stirring elsewhere. He quickly pushed through the last of the crowd to reach him. Then he stopped. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

He'd lost sight of Ste for a second, as a group of lads walked in front of him. When they had passed, he'd looked for Ste again. And he'd seen him. And the other guy. Locked in a kiss.

His entire body froze. He seemed to stand there for an age, but it was only a couple of seconds. He watched as the guy held Ste tightly by the waist, tilting him back slightly. He saw Ste's closed eyes. And he saw the pair of them kiss.

Then Ste opened his eyes. The guy pulled back, and Ste straightened up. That was when he saw Jamie. Their eyes met. Ste looked shocked. Jamie looked… well, he wasn't sure what was displayed on his face, but shock would be a fair bet as well. He stared straight at Ste for a moment, before turning swiftly on his heel.

Back through the dancing horde, past the cloakroom, down the stairs. Out into the frosty night air. In shock, his mind could hardly process what he'd seen. He stood, in a stupor for a moment. Then he ran.

16th December

Ste hadn't come home last night. And it was now two o'clock, and still he hadn't returned. Jamie had woken several hours earlier, after managing to slip into a fitful sleep about 5am. He'd lain awake most of the night, replaying what he'd seen over and over in his head, and waiting for Ste to come home.

For a while, he'd managed to convince himself that he was blowing it out of proportion. So Ste had been drunk, Jamie hadn't been there, he'd kissed another guy. It didn't mean anything, did it? The guy _had_ been pretty hot after all. Ste would come home soon, say how sorry he was, and make everything all right.

But the minutes and then hours past, and there was no sign of Ste. Jamie couldn't quite get his head round it. Ste had been kissing someone else - or more importantly, Ste had seen Jamie see him kissing someone else - and hadn't come to explain.

After waking, Jamie had stayed in bed. When he eventually got up, he hadn't felt like eating. He hung about the flat, not sure what to do. Suddenly he decided he had to get out, to get away. He just couldn't take sitting in the flat a moment longer. He grabbed the unopened bag he'd brought from Edinburgh, and headed downstairs.

The Anchor was quite busy with the Saturday afternoon crowd. On his way out, he passed Kelly wiping a table. She smiled at him, and he did his best to smile back.

Kelly: Jamie, you manage to find Ste last night then?

Jamie: Eh… yeah. Yeah, I found him.

Kelly: Good. Where you off to now?

Jamie thought for a moment. Where was he going? _'Just say something,' _he thought, aware that he'd been standing staring at her, no doubt looking gormless.

Jamie: Back up to Edinburgh. Something came up. See you Kelly.

He quickly left the pub. For a moment he stood outside, light rain dampening his clothes. Should he really go back up north? What else could he do? Wait longer for Ste? He thought for a moment, before coming to a decision. Yes, he would go back, but would make a stop first. He needed to talk to someone about this.

He started to head off, then stopped. After a second's deliberation, he quickly dashed back into the pub. Answering Kelly's call of '_Forget something?' _ with a grunt, he raced upstairs. In the flat, he grabbed a bit of paper and a pen. He scribbled down a brief note and left it on the table by the door. Then, with as much haste as he entered, he rushed back out.

The film ended, and Jamie turned the volume down. The nine o'clock news was just starting. He sat on the couch, waiting for her to come back. When she did, he thanked her for the beer she handed him. She sat down beside him. He indicated to the television.

Jamie: That was alright.

Leah: Told you you'd like it. It's one of my favourites.

Jamie: Yeah. Pretty funny.

He sighed. To be honest, he'd hardly registered what the film was about. He just hadn't been able to focus on it, or think about anything except Ste. He'd spent most of the time desperately trying to come up with other explanations for what had happened. To no avail.

Jamie: I can't believe he still hasn't called. I really thought…

His voice drifted into silence. Leah looked at him, unsure of what to say. Jamie had turned up at her flat in Thamesmead at about three o'clock. He'd told her what had happened. At first she'd tried to play it down, write off what he'd seen as a drunken mistake. But when Jamie had explained how Ste hadn't come home last night, she had to admit to herself that changed things somewhat. And, even though Jamie had left a note saying where he was, Ste hadn't called here either. Really, she didn't know what to think, let alone what to say to Jamie.

Leah: Well, you are staying the night here tonight.

Jamie started to say something, but Leah stopped him.

Leah: No arguments. Look, I don't know what's happening with Ste. I can't believe he'd do what he seems to have done. He loves you too much. But, well, even if….

She stopped, deciding not to go down that road.

Leah: … I don't know. Anyway, you're staying here tonight, and you can decide what to do tomorrow.

Jamie: I suppose. Maybe I'll wake up, and all this will just have been a hideous dream.

17th December (morning)

He waved goodbye to Leah as the train left the platform. It hadn't been a hideous dream, just hideous reality. He'd woken that morning in a sudden panic, having just had a terrible thought. What if Ste was hurt? He couldn't believe he hadn't thought of it before. Maybe he'd been attacked on the way home, and that was why he hadn't come back. As soon as he'd thought of this horrible possibility, he'd convinced himself that was what had happened. That Ste was lying in a ditch somewhere, while he sat here blaming him for some stupid kiss.

In a state of fear he had gone to wake Leah, finding her already up - uncharacteristically early - and making breakfast. She managed to calm him down, and told him first to call the Anchor. Tom, one of the bar workers, had answered. He hadn't seen Ste, but he went and found Kelly.

Kelly: Yeah Jamie, he came back maybe about two hours after you left. I didn't see him come in, just when he left again. He didn't say much, looked in a hurry. Everything alright?

Jamie, listening to her words, had sank back into his chair. He was extremely relieved to know Ste was fine, of course. But hearing that Ste had been back at their flat, and hadn't got in touch, was unbearable. He managed a mumbled thanks, then hang up.

Now he was on the train again, heading back up to Edinburgh. He'd told Leah that he'd stay there for a few days, wait till his mum and Tony got home on the 23rd, and then maybe come back down. He didn't really want to think about Christmas just now, it was more than he could bear.

He stared out at the scenery flying past the window, not really seeing any of it. His mind barely registered the two irritatingly loud giggling girls sitting across from him.

17th December (afternoon)

With a sigh, Jamie pushed himself up from the wall. From somewhere outside, a church bell was tolling. He unlocked the door to his flat, and walked inside.

_** To Be Continued.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**December Seventeenth**_

**Gary D.**

Part II

17th December

Ste stretched his legs out. They were cramped from sitting so long in the chair, waiting. He'd arrived in the early hours, and had been surprised to find the place empty. His calls home had gone unanswered, so eventually, with no other option, he went to bed. Not that he slept much.

He'd lingered for a while in the morning, making several cups of tea as a way of passing the time. Around eleven o'clock he'd gone out for a walk and some fresh air. Several hours later, when he returned, the flat was still empty.

How much time had gone by since then, he wasn't sure. He'd begun to regret his decision to come here. He'd almost made up his mind to return to the station, when he heard footsteps approaching the door of the flat. He sat up in the chair. In the back of his mind, practically ever since it had happened, he'd been trying to work out the best way to explain things. The entire time he'd been locked in that cell, he'd been practicing what he was going to say. _'So much bloody good it's done,' _he thought, _'I've still got no idea.'_ He told himself to keep calm, and start at the beginning. But the slight tremor in his hands and the tapping of his foot betrayed his true state of mind. He was nervous as hell.

2nd December

It was seven o'clock in the morning, time for the centre to open. Ste unlocked the main doors, and welcomed the earlybird swimmers who were waiting outside. He'd already been at work for an hour, and it was going to be a long day. He headed back up the stairs to the main swimming area. His first shift of the day was in the fitness pool, which was always the one that was most busy first thing. He climbed up onto his seat and looked out over the water, smooth and glass-like before the first swimmers got in.

He really enjoyed his job. He'd loved swimming for as long as he could remember, and working at the sports centre was something he'd always wanted. He found it relaxing just to be around water, to hear the splashes and ripples caused by the swimmers. He'd also recently started taking some of the beginners' classes, and when he was teaching the little kids their strokes his passion for swimming shone through.

He also liked his colleagues, which made the job all the better. There were four that he saw every day, all being on the same shifts, and he got on with them all. There were two girls, Louise and Laura, who were both really nice. Very attractive too. Then there was Danny, who was the same age as Ste, and who fancied Louise but hadn't yet asked her out. And finally there was Marc.

Of the four of them, Marc was the one Ste felt least comfortable around. He was nice and friendly, and Ste did get on with him, but some of his behaviour made Ste slightly uneasy.

The thing was, Marc was gay, and clearly had a bit of a thing for him. In itself, that was okay - Ste wasn't bothered. He was aware that he wasn't a bad looking guy, and might even have been secretly pleased that Marc liked him. Marc was certainly a handsome bloke himself. If there hadn't been more to it, he'd have told Jamie, they'd have laughed about it, it would have been fine.

The problem was that Marc made his feelings blatantly obvious. It seemed that every time they spoke he'd make some flirtatious remark, and he was always finding a way to make physical contact with Ste. He did know about Jamie - all his colleagues did, he'd told them in the pub after his first shift that he was gay and with Jamie - but it didn't seem to temper his advances.

Ste looked up as the first swimmer of the day jumped into the pool. Today was going to be long - a double shift. It should have been his weekend off, but the manager had begged him to work. Danny was on holiday and Louise had to go to Newcastle for a funeral, so they were short-staffed. Even though he should have been going up to visit Jamie, he didn't feel he could say no.

He glanced over at the door to the staff office just as it opened. Marc came out, saw Ste and gave him a little wave. Ste smiled and nodded back. Marc headed over to where Ste was sitting.

Marc: Hey Ste

Ste: Hey, hows things?

Marc: All good. Even better cos you're in today.

He said this in a half-jokey half-flirty way, touching Ste's shoulder as he did so. Ste just smiled back, not knowing what else to do.

Marc: So, Laura was saying that your birthday plans have changed, that we're going out on the Friday with you.

Ste: Yeah. Jay can't make it down till the Saturday, so I thought the five of us could maybe go out.

Marc: Sounds good. Shame about Jamie…

His voice didn't really convey much sympathy.

Marc: …. but we'll have a good time.

Ste: Yeah. Maybe Danny will finally manage something with Louise.

Marc laughed.

Marc: Well, after we've had a few drinks, who knows what might happen.

As he said this, he moved round behind Ste and stroked the back of Ste's neck with his hands.

Marc: I'd better head over to the kids' pool before we get in trouble for chatting. See ya later Ste

Ste: Yeah.

Marc walked off, leaving Ste to stare out at the water and hope that the redness in his cheeks faded quickly. It really was getting a bit too much.

17th December

Time seemed to slow to a crawl as Ste sat stock still, listening to the footsteps approaching the door. Nearer and nearer. Ste realised he was holding his breath, and let out a long exhale. _'Mate, calm down,'_ he told himself, _'getting worked up will just make things harder.'_

As they reached the door, the footsteps stopped. _'This is it,'_ Ste thought. He waited, expecting to hear the sound of keys jangling, and the door being unlocked. But nothing.

He sat there waiting for what seemed like an age. He began to think he must have imagined the footsteps, and he got up from the chair.

As he moved across the room, somewhere outside a church bell was tolling. He'd almost reached the door when all of a sudden he heard the key in the lock. He froze in fright, as the door opened and his eyes locked with Jamie's. Just seeing those beautiful blue eyes, wide with surprise, made Ste want to pull Jamie towards him and hold him, never to let go._ 'How has it come to this,' _he thought sadly._ 'All this grief and hurt, for what?' _

Jamie was still just looking at him. The door had swung shut behind him. He looked so lost, standing there soaked to the skin, so vulnerable._ 'It's my fault,'_ Ste thought. '_If only I hadn't had so bloody much to drink…' _He'd had so much to drink, in fact, that when he tried to remember his birthday, it was almost a complete haze. He could remember bits, some _very_ vividly, but there were lots of gaps...

15th December

_At the flat_

They were sitting close together in the centre of the living room. The drinking had just started, with the guys having arrived about half an hour before. Ste was between Danny and Laura, with Louise on the other side of Danny. Marc had yet to arrive – in fact Danny had rung him at his house about fifteen minutes before, and he was now on the way. He only lived a short walk from the Anchor – something he always liked to remind Ste of with a nudge and a suggestive smile.

When Danny got off the phone, he'd passed on Marc's greetings.

Danny: He says he's just heading out the door now, and that you're not to worry as he'll be here soon. Oh yeah, and he says 'happy birthday' and that you'll get your birthday kiss when he gets here.

Ste: Brilliant! That is gonna be the highlight of my day.

Outwardly Ste laughed, along with the others. But inside he felt a bit of trepidation at Marc's arrival. He did like the guy, but he was just so full on. Ste found it difficult sometimes to know how to react to him.

And he was missing Jamie. He was really disappointed that he wasn't able to see him on his birthday. Going out with the guys from work was good, and he was sure they would have a great time, but it wouldn't be the same without Jamie._ 'Oh well, we'll just have to make up for it tomorrow night, won't we Jay,_' he thought to himself with a little smile.

He turned his attention back to Danny, who was opening a bottle of tequila.

_Later, at the flat_

It was their third or fourth drinking game. Ste was really enjoying himself. They'd probably be heading out soon, as they had almost exhausted the supply of booze that the guys had brought. The only thing that was ever so slightly spoiling his enjoyment was Marc, and his overtly sexual behaviour. He had positioned himself very close to Ste, and every time Ste got one wrong Marc would not just laugh with everyone else, he'd also find some way to touch him. Ste was constantly being gently shoved, tickled, rubbed...

Danny: Fuzzy Duck

Louise: Ducky Fuzz

Laura: Fuzzy Duck

Ste: Duzzy Fuck... shit

Everyone laughed

Danny: Drink!

Laura: Down it!

Ste gulped down what was left of his drink.

Marc: That's it Stevie-boy. Who says us gay guys can't drink as well as anyone else?

Louise: Nobody. I've never heard anyone say that.

Marc just through a cushion at her, before leaning over and pulling Ste into a playful headlock. In his drunken state, Ste didn't respond very quickly, and let himself be held like that,with his head next to Marc's chest, for a few moments. When he realised what position he was in, he pulled away. He stood up, a little too quickly.

Ste: Right! Boys and girls... let's head out.

As he said this, he lost his balance and fell back onto the couch. They all laughed. Marc leaned down to get him, but Louise was there first, pulling him to his feet.

Louise: Come on then birthday boy, let's go.

Laura: Where are we headed anyway?

Danny: How about Graphite?

Louise: We'll never get in, not with you hopeless drunks.

Marc: How about Republik?

Danny: That's not a gay place is it? I mean you know I'm open to all that jazz, and obviously I love you and Ste, but, well, I just don't fancy being hit on by guys all night.

Ste laughed.

Ste: What makes you think they'd hit on you?

Danny patted his chest, and pointed at his face.

Danny: You've seen this, what other conclusion can you draw. I mean, if I was, Ste, wouldn't you? And if Jamie wasn't there of course.

Ste made an obvious show of checking Danny out.

Ste: Well, I suppose if the alley was dark enough...

Danny: Hey!

Laura: Anyway...

Ste: Right. Well, I say Republik then. I've been with some of the guys from Thamesmead, and they're not that picky about who they let in...

Danny: ... I think we worked that out when you said you went with the Thamesmead lads...

Ste punched him on the arm, and they both laughed. He knew Danny's mock snobbery was just that – mock. Danny had been brought up in similar circumstances to him, on a council estate in Leeds.

Ste: Well it isn't anything special, but it's not a gay club, it plays decent music, and it's not far.

Louise: Done. Let's go.

_At Republik_

When they got to the club, they somehow managed - by splitting into two groups, and doing their best sober impressions - to all get in. In no time they were dancing away. Danny's luck seemed to finally be in with Louise, as in no time at all they were off in their own little world, dancing together. The large amount of alcohol consumed by both no doubt had a hand in it.

It did however leave Ste with Laura and Marc, which was fine at first. Then Laura disappeared off to the toilet, and it was just him and Marc. Marc moved closer. Ste tried to ease back a little, but Marc was persistent. In the end, Ste gave up trying, and just let Marc dance close to him. Ste was aware that Marc shouldn't be so near to him that he could feel his breath on his neck, but he was drunk, and Marc was so bloody relentless. Thankfully, Laura was soon back.

_Later, at Republik_

At one point Marc leaned close to him, and said something that Ste couldn't hear because of the music. He indicated this to Marc, who then moved his mouth to Ste's ear.

Marc: I never got round to giving you your birthday kiss earlier...

He pulled back and looked into Ste's eyes, smiling, before moving his lips close to Ste's ear again.

Marc: How about I make up for it now?

As he said this, his lips brushed gently against Ste's ear. Ste felt himself go red. He gently pushed Marc away from him. He shook his head, and indicated that he just wanted to dance. Marc seemed to get the gist, and gave Ste a bit more space.

Satisfied, Ste continued to dance. He closed his eyes a moment, thinking of Jamie. _'Jesus, Jay, how much do I wish it was you here, instead of him,'_ he thought. Still, the knowledge that he'd see Jamie the next day made him feel better. The rest of the week was going to be so great, he was… suddenly, he felt hands on his waist, tilting him back slightly. He felt someone's lips on his lips, and someone's tongue pushing into his mouth. Marc.

In shock he opened his eyes. Marc pulled back, and Ste straightened up. That's when he saw Jamie. Standing a little bit behind Marc on the right. Their eyes met, the expression on Jamie's face a mixture of surprise and disbelief. Then Jamie turned on his heel and disappeared into the crowd.

Ste, however, just stood there. His head was reeling. Thoughts were cascading round his drunken mind. Marc had just kissed him. The bastard. And Jamie had been there. How did Jamie get there? Jesus, Jamie had seen Marc kiss him. Shit! And now Jamie had gone. Shit, shit, shit!

Suddenly realising what he had to do, he shoved past Marc and began pushing his way through the crowds. It seemed to take forever to make it through the hordes of drunken, dancing people, but eventually he got to the exit. He dashed down the stairs and into the street. He looked both ways, but couldn't see Jamie. He picked one direction and ran to the corner, but no luck. He called Jamie's name. Nothing. He'd lost him.

The frosty night air had somewhat cleared his head. The confusion he'd felt earlier was replaced by other emotions. Anguish at the fact that Jamie had seen Marc kissing him, and worry at what he must be thinking and feeling. Anger at Marc for what he'd done. _'He knew I wasn't interested. He could see I just wanted to fucking dance!' _Ste thought. The anger grew as he walked back towards the club. He knew he had to quickly get back to the Anchor and sort things with Jamie. But first, Marc was going to pay for what he'd done. With more and more rage building up inside him, fuelled by alcohol, and thoughts of all the times Marc had overstepped it with his flirting, and of the pain he'd now caused Jamie by seriously crossing the line, Ste headed back inside the club.

17th December

Jamie moved forwards, and Ste reached out to him. But Jamie just shrugged of Ste's approach and brushed past him.

Ste: Jay….

Jamie, now in the living room, turned back to Ste. He looked tired. More than that. Standing there, soaked to the skin, he looked like a man defeated.

Jamie: What're you doing here Ste?

Ste: To see you, Jay. To explain.

Jamie: C hrist, Ste, what is there to explain? I saw it with my own eyes. You thought I wouldn't be there - didn't expect me to catch you - and you were getting with another guy. Seems pretty damn clear to me.

Jamie was getting angry, and his voice was rising. He could feel tears pricking the corner of his eyes. He quickly turned away from Ste, and moved over to the window. He willed himself to calm down, to control himself. When he spoke again, his tone was much more measured.

Jamie: And then - and I think this is probably the worst part - you don't even bother to come home and apologise….

At this point, Ste tried to interupt, but Jamie wouldn't let him.

Jamie: …. I mean, how much of a complete fucking coward do you need to be do that? You knew I'd seen you, you let me run off, and didn't bother to come after me. Then when you do come back - the next fucking afternoon for God's sake, just waltzing in as if nothing was wrong - you still don't come speak to me….

Ste: …. Jay, I tried….

Jamie: …. I waited up all fucking night Ste. All fucking night. Told myself that it was nothing, that'd you'd come home soon, and explain everything. But you didn't, did you. Then Kelly tells me you came back yesterday afternoon. Jesus!

Jamie had come round to where Ste was standing, near the sofa. He had lost his composure again. He suddenly felt immensely weary, as if the energy had been sapped out of him. He slumped down onto the couch, drained.

Jamie: I still can't really believe that you could do that. Get off with someone else, obvously go home with him. For all I know, this isn't a one off thing. But the worse bit is that you clearly care so little for me - I mean, you must have known how much pain I'd be in - that despite me seeing you, you carry on.

He was silent, tears again welling up. Ste looked down at him, anguished by the pain his boyfriend was bearing. Hearing Jamie speak like that, with such sadness, broke his heart. He wanted to make everthing all right, all at once, but he knew he had a lot of explaining to do. He knelt down in front of Jamie, and tried to take his hand, but Jamie wouldn't let him.

Ste: Jay, baby, you have to let me explain. It didn't happen like that at all.

He stood up, went across the room and pulled a chair over, so he was sitting facing Jamie. He took a deep breath. He knew he had to explain this carefully.

Ste: Yes, you saw me kissing a guy. Marc. He works at the sports centre. I've mentioned him, I think. The thing is, he's gay…. and he fancies me.

Jamie: Oh, well then, if he fancies you then….

Ste: …. Jay! Please, just listen.

Ste looked down at his hands for a moment, choosing his next words carefully. When he looked up again, into Jamie's big, blue eyes, slightly puffy from crying, he knew that he had to be frank and honest. That was the only way he could fix this God-awful, stupid situation they were now in.

Ste: Yes, he fancies me. And he makes it very obvious. I told him about you Jay, I told all the guys at the centre. But he still took every opportunity to flirt, make some innuendo, touch me…

Jamie: … Touch you?

Ste: Oh not like that. Just, I don't know, patting me on the back, putting his hand on my shoulder. Suggestive, but nothing more than that.

Jamie: So kissing you is just suggestive is it?

Ste: Of course not, no. That was the first time he'd done anything like that. We'd been at the flat, we'd had a lot to drink….

Jamie: … Jesus, Ste, you're not telling me your gonna try and play the 'I was drunk' card?

Ste: No! Look, I didn't kiss him. He kissed me. Yes, I was drunk. That's why I didn't react as quickly as I would have done otherwise. I was surprised. It's all a bit fuzzy, but I think, yeah, I had my eyes closed, and I suddenly felt him kiss me. As I said, I was a bit slow to push him away, but I did. I pushed him away…. and then I saw you.

Both Jamie and Ste were silent for a moment. Ste was watching Jamie's reaction, and Jamie was absorbing wat Ste had just said. Did he believe Ste, that he had been kissed when he was drunk, that he hadn't tried to kiss this Marc? The answer was clear in Jamie's mind. Yes. Instinctively, without hesitation, his natural reaction was to believe Ste. Ever since this started, he'd never really been able to accept that Ste would or could cheat on him.

But that still didn't explain why Ste hadn't come back that night. If there was an innocent explanation, as Jamie had wanted to believe that there was, then why hadn't he come home? And even when he did come home, yesterday afternoon, why did he still not come get him at Leah's?

He turned to face Ste, and looked deep into those beautiful expressive brown eyes. There was no hint of deceipt in those eyes, Jamie was sure. He also noticed for the first time that Ste's lip was cut, and his nose looked a bit red and swollen. He resisted the urge to touch Ste's face, to ask what had happened. Ste would explain. When he spoke, his tone was much softer.

Jamie: Ok, so he kissed you. But why didn't you come home? You had to know what I was going through that night.

Ste: I know, I did. After I saw you, as soon as I got my wits together, I chased after you. But I lost you.

Jamie was about to speak, but he decided to let Ste continue.

Ste: Obviously I knew you'd have gone back to the Anchor - or at least I'd have gone there to try and look for you - but, well, I got kind of distracted.

Jamie: Distracted?

Ste: I know I should have come to find your straight away - God, we wouldn't be going through this now if I had - but I sort of let my anger get the better of me.

Jamie: What do you mean?

Ste: Well….

16th December

The clock on the wall showed half past two. In the morning. Ste was led over to the desk. The man behind it was writing something, and didn't look up for a moment. When he did, he saw in front of him a young guy with a split lip, a bloody nose and a ripped shirt. The usual. He sighed.

Sgt Reid: Name?

Ste: Steven Pearce.

Ste was still angry. But now his anger was at himself. He'd been so stupid, so bloody stupid, to let his alcohol-fuelled emotions get the better of him. After heading back into the club, he'd sought out Marc. The bastard had the nerve to smile at him. And Ste had punched him. Marc had then hit back, and they were soon on the floor. Marc fought pretty well, although Ste managed to get more blows in. But the fight was short. Before he knew it, big strong arms were roughly pulling Marc and him apart. The bouncers dragged them away from the dance floor. If luck had been on his side, they might just have been chucked out. But as they were being dragged outside there happened to be two policeman on their beat walking by. So now here he was.

The desk sergeant took his details, then told him he'd be spending the night in the cells. When Ste started to speak, the sergeant interupted him.

Sgt Reid: Now look mate. You're spending the rest of the night down below, give you a chance to cool off. You've been co-operative this far, and if that continues we won't be charging you, so this won't go on your record. So if you don't want to be up on a drunken disorderly, you'd best be keeping quiet and do as we say.

Ste, still furious at himself for letting things get to this, and worried about Jamie, knew he had no choice. Resignedly, he let himself be led downstairs to the cells.

17th December

Jamie laughed. Ste had just finished telling him about the 'delicious' breakfast he'd had in the police cell. His laughter, as much as it was due to the fact he found Ste's situation funny, was tinged with relief. _'I knew it,' _ he thought to himself, _'there was a rational explanation. Didn't expect it to be that, though!'_

Jamie: I can't believe it, Ste. You were in jail.

Ste: Yep. Crazy, I know.

He got up from his chair, and sat on the sofa next to Jamie. He nudged him gently as he spoke.

Ste: So, there you are. This whole mess was caused be me, letting my anger get the better of me. Well, that and Marc.

He now put his arm around Jamie, and lightly squeezed.

Ste: I am so, so sorry for putting you through all this. You gotta believe me. I love you so much, and the last thing on earth I want to do is hurt you.

Jamie: I know Ste. I know.

Jamie, who had been sitting still for some time, now allowed himself to sink into Ste's embrace. They were both quiet for a while, contemplating events. Eventually, Jamie spoke.

Jamie: I can't believe I let things get so blown out of proportion. I mean, if I hadn't run away immdeiately, I would have seen that you hadn't been kissing this guy Marc. And you'd have been able to explain.

He sighed.

Jamie: Looking back, it all seems ridiculous. I know that you would never try to hurt me. I know it without a shadow of a doubt. So why did I let myself forget that so easily, and listen to my worst fears.

Ste: It's perfectly understandable Jay. I mean, you saw - or believed you saw - me getting off with another guy. Then I didn't come home that night. It's no wonder your mind leapt to those possibilities.

Jamie: I suppose Ste.

He thought for a moment.

Jamie: It was really the next day, at Leah's, that I started imagining the worse. Especially when I'd heard you came back to the flat, and went out again without getting in touch.

Ste: I didn't know you were there, Jay. I came straight from the police station. You weren't in the flat, and I came down and asked Kelly, and she'd said you'd gone back to Edinburgh. So I came here.

Jamie: I left a note on the table by the door. Didn't you see it?

Ste: No…

He thought back. Then he gave a half-chuckle.

Ste: Just as I was getting back to the pub, there was a delivery van pulling away. And when I got to the flat, Kelly was just coming out. She'd let herself in to put a big parcel in the flat. I glanced at it as I left. It was from that garden centre, the one your mum told us about a couple weekends back.

Jamie: Yeah, she said on the phone… oh, it was that reindeer model, wasn't it.

Ste: That's my guess. Was about this high….

He indicated the size of the box.

Ste: And covererd the entire hall table.

Jamie: Including my note.

Ste: Looks likely.

Jamie: Bloody hell. So, in addition to Marc being to blame for kissing you…

Ste: … and in general being a prick…

Jamie: …. and being a prick, you are to blame for hitting him - although, I've thought about it, and I'm very glad you did. Proud in fact.

Ste affected surprise.

Ste: What? You, condoning violence?

Jamie: Only when it's being done against bastards who kiss my boyfriend. So as well as Marc, and you, it was partly my fault for running away before you could explain. And, finally, my mum's tacky Christmas reindeer shoulders some of the blame.

Ste: That's a bit unfair, it didn't know that it was doing anything wrong.

Jamie: Being inanimate is no excuse Ste.

They were both smiling, and Jamie suddenly leaned and gave Ste a kiss. Jamie started to put his arms round Ste, when Ste gave a yelp.

Ste: Your clothes are all soaking and freezing Jay!

It was only now that Jamie seemed to realise this, and he immediately noticed that he was frozen stiff.

Jamie: Jesus, Ste, so I am.

Ste: C'mon, get up. Let's get you undressed.

He stood, and pulled Jamie up, leading him by the hand to the bedroom. Needless to say, what went on didn't just begin and end with Jamie changing clothes.

18th December

Ste woke up as the train was about 15 minutes from London. He turned to Jamie, who was reading. When Jamie noticed that Ste had woken, he took off his glasses and smiled at him.

Jamie: You must have been tired, you slept almost the whole way.

Ste grinned, and was about to speak, when Jamie interupted. Glancing at the old lady opposite, he spoke quietly.

Jamie: No, no, it's ok, you don't need to say it out loud and embarrass me. I _know_ you didn't get any sleep last night.

Ste: I wasn't going to say that.

Jamie: Yes you were.

Ste: Well, ok, I was.

Jamie: I can read you like a book my friend.

Ste laughed.

Ste: Aside from me, what was that you were reading?

Jamie picked up the book and showed him - _'Alexander of Macedon - A Historical Biography'._

Jamie: It's for my history class.

Ste: That the one with the Weetos guy?

Jamie: Yeah, Smith. Still got that test to look forward to.

Ste: I'll help you study, don't worry.

Jamie looked at him with raised eyebrows.

Jamie: I think, over the time we've been together, we've learned that when it comes to my studying, you are a bit more of a distraction than a help. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Ste: Fine then. I wouldn't be much help with history anyway. Now if you'd done human biology on the other hand…

Jamie rolled his eyes, as Ste grinned.

Ste: … then I'd be your man.

Jamie: Well, maybe I can pick that up next term.

Ste: You should. Human Biology, with a special focus on the 19 year old male form. If you did that, revising for it would hardly seem like a chore at all!

They both laughed. As the train neared the station, the old woman opposite got up and moved towards the doors. They were alone at the end of the carriage. Ste looked deeply into Jamie's eyes.

Ste: It's been a crazy few days, eh Jay.

Jamie: And then some.

Ste: I'm glad we got it all totally sorted in the end.

Jamie: Me too.

He leaned over and kissed Ste. Nothing too wild and passionate - they were on a train, after all - but with real feeling, and tenderness. And love.


End file.
